Terms of Service
Last Updated January 21, 2012:
The terms and conditions below (the "Terms of Service") govern your access to and use of Rich Kid Cool's websites, mobile applications, products, and services (collectively, the "Site"), excluding any services provided to you by Rich Kid Cool, under a separate written agreement. The Terms of Service constitute a legal agreement between you and Rich Kid Cool. You agree to the Terms of Service by accessing or using the Site. Do not access or use the Site if you are unwilling or unable to be bound by the Terms of Service.
Definitions:
a.) You must wear sunglasses at all times when wearing Rich Kid Cool gear. Even if that means "Corey Harting" it. ("Corey Harting" is defined by wearing your sunglasses at night, no matter the cost to your vision, balance, etc.) In any case, sunglasses are required while seen with any RKC gear at all times in the evening.
b.) The Brand should be referred to in public as "RKC." The term"RKC" sounds real and concrete and vaguely industrial, and those who do not understand the initials are subject to scrutinization and/or taunting.
c.) If you do something egregious while wearing an RKC shirt, (i.e. throwing a rock at a dog (cats are fine), listening to any Coldplay song [except "The Scientist"], etc.) you are subject to a slap across the face from any member of "The Company."
d.) You must call your mother once a week, minimum. You may be Rich Kid Cool, but you're at least considerate of your mother.
Eligibility:
a.) You have not been deemed "uncool."
b.) are not a meatball or douche, or aspire to be one
c.) have not in any way, shape or form used the word "hella" or "crunk" in a non-ironic sense.
d.) are not affiliated with an objectionable organization such as NAMBLA or the AARP
e.) most importantly, you are required to wear the RKC shirt.
User Accounts:
We retain your email address. You are REQUIRED to receive this newsletter and unsubscription will result in recall of any RKC product. Money, goods and services are given for our email list and we are required to sell your information. Look at it this way, selling your information is just more profit for us. More profit for us means more goods via RKC that we produce. And the cycle continues. We know you've singned up for, and regretted, worse things, so just go with it.
Translations and Changes to Terms of Service
Terms of service might all change tomorrow just to confuse you. For example, we think fezes might be the new, in thing for people to wear. So then we produce some fezes. We decide, after a fistful of cocaine, that fezes are the ONLY thing that we sell. In that case, our Terms of Service may just be two lines that say, 'Burn all your other RKC products. Only wear a fez.' Then that part about calling your mother no longer is aplicable and you stop calling her. You are shamed by your family and the only known whereabouts of you are these shitty Instagram photos on Facebook with you wearing a fez. Then you'd have to ask yourself, 'Where's your God now?'
Use Of The Site:
We grant you permission to use the Site subject to the restrictions in these Terms of Service. In accessing or using the Site, you may be exposed to content that is offensive, indecent, inaccurate, objectionable, or otherwise inappropriate. Rich Kid Cool endorses and/or does not endorse such content, and cannot vouch for its accuracy. You therefore access and use the Site at your own risk. We're guessing you've seen worse things out there. Like Lemon Party.org. No, we're not linking to it.
If content viewed is offensive as deemed by the state of Delaware, there is no crying or sobbing over any part of the content. Any crying, sobbing, tearing up or doing that little kid thing where you stutter talk while holding back crying will result in recall of any RKC product.
Restrictions On Use:
You agree that:
I.) You may not sign up any third party email address into the site out of spite or comedic value.
II.) You may not use the "Rich Kid Cool" logo for any sort of sports memoribilia whatsover.
This clause is enforced strictly if the sports teams are the Chicago Bears or Cubs. Chicago sucks.
III.) Rich Kid Cool may be intentionally or unintentionally affiliated with any and all pornographic websites on the world wide web.
IV.) This site may be viewed in public libraries, schools and churches.
V.) You may not allow your parents, step-parents, young siblings or children onto the site.
VI.) You may visit the site if you are under 21 only if a person over 21 supervises your visit.
VII.) Cell phone use while on the site is scritly prohibited. Sexting is, however, encouraged.
VIII.) Reproduction of any part of RKC or logo is prohibited. Legal action will be taken for no less than 10 years in the Supreme Court.
IX.) You refuse to question any content or product on the site.
X.) You agree.
Site Availability:
We reserve the right to take down the site for any reason, such as maintenance, troubleshooting, sheer boredom, malaise, tactical reasons, power outages (intentional/unintentional), bankruptcy or non-compliance from ourselves or third parties.
Ownership:
We own the Rich Kid Cool Content, including but not limited to visual interfaces, interactive features, graphics, design, compilation, computer code, products, software, user comments, and all other elements and components of the Site excluding User Content and Third Party Content. We also own the copyrights, trademarks, service marks, trade names, and other intellectual and proprietary rights throughout the world (the "IP Rights") associated with the Rich Kid Cool Content and the Site, which are protected by copyright, trade dress, patent, trademark laws and all other applicable intellectual and proprietary rights and laws. As such, you may not modify, reproduce, distribute, create derivative works or adaptations of, publicly display or in any way exploit any of the Rich Kid Cool Content in whole or in part except as expressly authorized by us. Unless you have a mind blowing reason to do so. Except as expressly and unambiguously provided herein, we do not grant you any express or implied rights, and all rights in and to the Site and the Rich Kid Cool Content are retained by us.
Once you purchase our products, we own you as the consumer.
We are in your brain.